Patience 101

"Love is patient..." (1 Corinthians 13:4)

Last Friday, I was blessed by my friend's photoblog. Anto is a natural artist and I admire her work. I've been very busy helping with the planning of my sister's wedding that I haven't really found the time to reflect through my blogs like I used to. This too shall pass, and the wedding will be over in a month, so I will be back blogging again... I would miss the planning and all, but I've always known that it was merely a season in my life that I would fully embrace as it was happening... and then let go, let God take care of the rest on the day itself... and when the day was over, I would have lots of material to blog about.

So except for my monthly public blog, I haven't really had any time for myself and my thoughts. Besides emailing the wedding entourage about the rehearsal dinner that is coming up next month, calling the florist about the flower labels, or coordinating the sleeping room needs of our out-of-town guests... all on top of my day-to-day duties as a wife, a mommy, an employee, a parent officer at Alison's school, a daughter/sister, a friend, etc. etc. - I had absolutely no intention of sitting down and blogging again for myself. I figured I will have all the time in the world after the wedding.

That was until I viewed Anto's photoblog: God of Details.

I was breath-taken by the incredible macro shots... enchanted by the work titles that so truly captured the essence of the shots... haunted by what seemed like a ghost from the past: my blogs, my reflections - they seemed to call out, like a yearning passion from within, I HAD TO WRITE!!!

Writing my comment on her work was my first step: Thank you for sharing, Anto!!! I was truly blessed - reminded by the simple - yet beautiful and DETAILED - pleasures of life, of God's creation.

Next thing I knew, I was blogging this entry... :)

On Saturday, I had a meltdown moment at the tuxedo rental place. I was trying to be efficient with the little time that we had that afternoon, as we had more errands other than to get the guys' (including Edison's and Edward's) tux measurements, when God decided to give me a pop quiz on Patience. I was totally caught off-guard... and I failed the test. :(

I was crushed - even after everyone seemed to have gotten over it... My Teacher is loving and merciful that He has long forgiven me - way before I forgave myself for it, I know that for sure... I wanted to know at that instant: How did I ever let myself get to that point of meltdown? How could I have not reacted differently? What are You teaching me, Lord? I wanna know - NOW!

Lots of logical answers came up: I should not expect others to be like how we run our wedding planning - methodical, systematic, organized... or expect other businesses to be run the same way our boss runs our business - relationship-oriented, professional, accurate, and responsive, with WOW customer service factors!

No answer seemed to calm me down. I knew there was more to it than expectations...

I reviewed Anto's photoblog on Sunday and I came across this beautiful photo...

And that's when the Lord whispered the lesson that He wanted me to learn... And I wrote my friend: I love this photo, Anto! There are so many times in my life when it feels like I'm strangling the heck out of these buds and saying, "C'mon, bloom! Bloom!" Foolish, I know... because deep inside, I know that they will bloom in God's own time - but I strangle the buds anyway... and then I surrender... to the Father... and I thank Him - for HE is patient with me. I have my moments of weakness and impatience... but He waits ever so patiently - time after time - and He makes me realize that I can only bloom when I surrender all to Him... This photo blessed me, Anto! Thank you - and thank God for you! ~ Love, Aud :)

I can only bloom when I surrender all to Him.

ALL... and that includes waiting for half an hour for service at the tuxedo rental place.

Yes - I am guilty as charged: (if Belle is a bride-zilla then) I have been a MOH-zilla! I have been so caught up in trying to make everything perfect MY OWN WAY that I failed to surrender that moment to God.

Despite the factors that led up to the meltdown, I could have handled the situation with a lot more patience - and yes, love... for love is patient. I realize now that it was what it was: a pop quiz, which will not be counted towards my final grade, but it needs to serve as a warning that a big test is coming up and that I should be ready for it. I am officially enrolled in God's Course on Love, and I'm not about to fail Patience 101 - just because I failed a pop quiz.

Dear Lord, help me to love like You: with enduring patience. Whatever the tests are that will come my way, please let me remember the lesson that You have taught me during these past few days: I will only bloom when I surrender all to You.

Taste and See

"Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him." (Psalm 34:8)

Hope 101

And he said unto him, Arise, go thy way, thy faith hath made thee whole. (Luke 17:19)

How is that for the Lord's punchline for the end of 2007? Just as I've reflected on graduating from His Course on Faith, I read this Bible verse on the "Daily Snippets from His Word" yesterday. Ayan ka na naman, Kuya, ha? Nagpakitang-gilas ka na naman! You always find a way of reaching out to me - thank You!

So now, I am enrolled in Your Course on Hope. And what better way to immerse on this course than by studying the material -

Your Message of Hope.

Mission to Inspire

This is both a praise report and a prayer request.

In slowly discovering my path, my place, my mission - uniquely designed and assigned to me by my Creator - I give praise and thanks!

At the same time, I pray so as not to let the Lord down when I deliver my mission. May the Lord God strengthen me where I am weak, deliver me from doubt and despair, and always remind me to look within my unshakable core where His love overflows.

Mission to Inspire

Joy: An Assignment

When we were kids, Care Bears was big. Our cousins and I picked a Care Bear that each of us related to the most. I picked Funshine Bear.

In second grade, I was given one of those end of the school year awards that our homeroom teacher gave out, such as "Smartest" or "Most Thoughtful." I received the "Most Cheerful" award.

My friends would tell me that I had so much spirit, and that my energy was contagious. Some even said that I was a joy to be around.

But by far, the greatest compliments that I ever received in this "Most Cheerful Category" were: 1) when Edison told me that I make him happy; and 2) when Edward prayed one night, "Thank You, Jesus, for my Mommy who makes me feel special."

However, it wasn't until a couple of weeks ago when it actually hit me. Right in the middle of our team’s holiday lunch, our boss commanded attention when he read his traditional year-end poem. There were only a couple of verses for each team member, but I remember him saying that I was very responsible in organizing our office, and that whatever else that I was doing at work, I always had a smile on my face. I had to actually pause and reflect: Does my smile really have an effect on people? Could I actually be a fountain of joy? Could this be another gift from God that I can use to serve Him?

I used to think that the best way to serve the Lord is to dedicate my life to teaching. So when life led me to the business world, I didn't know how to reconcile it with my childhood dream of becoming a teacher. I wrote Anto:

I used to be set in my ways. I had to be a teacher, period. I could never imagine myself working in the business world because I was very intimidated by the whole thing. I used to think that the only boss I could ever have in the business world is someone like Donald Trump - very scary!

What best way is there to serve the Lord than by teaching? I've always had a great admiration for teachers, so I’ve always wanted to be one. God bless the person who wrote the testimonial on me on our Highschool yearbook: “With an iron fist and a warm heart, Audrey is sure to be one of the counrty’s finest teachers.” I don’t remember the exact words that were written, but those words remained in me. I wanted to prove myself to everyone that I could fulfill my destiny of actually becoming one of our country’s greatest educators.

I reflected on that a few weeks back: I left the country AND I never pursued teaching, so I probably will never become one of the Philippines ’ finest teachers… I must admit that I was a bit sad. But maybe the Holy Spirit descended upon me that day because a quote just landed in my hands: “Little is much if GOD is in it.”

Then I thought, compared to my own BIG “Serve-the-Lord-by-teaching-and-be-great-at-it” standards, working in the business world may be “little,” but GOD is definitely in it! You know how it all started (you’ve probably read my blog about it)… and everyday, I offer everything that I do to the Lord. So I know that this career path may not be a part of my original plan, but He sees my heart and He knows that all I ever want to accomplish is to serve Him.

So wherever He wants to take me, I’ll just follow Him. I still haven’t given up on teaching all together. There is still that passion in me. But I will pursue it when He leads me there, in His time...

So I am really thankful for my boss' year-end poem. It somehow validated that I am indeed serving the Lord by bringing cheer to my workplace. This is my own way of heeding to Anto's encouragement to try to “be a Jesus to somebody” everyday.

What a great honor, my Lord, to be of service to You – by bringing cheer and sunshine to people's lives; by being a fountain of joy to my loved-ones and everyone else around me.

The greatest of these is LOVE

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13: 7-8)


Through all the seasons in my life, especially the latest rigorous course that I went through, there has always been a constant force behind everything: LOVE. I have been truly blessed by the Lord to experience His love and glory through my wonderful family and amazing friends.

Most especially though, I thank God for my husband, my children, my family of orientation, my husband's family, and His girls (my sisters in Christ): all of whom have been praying with me, to get me through life's new challenges. I dedicate this song to them. This one's for You too, Kuya!

"There's a freedom in your arms that carries me through. I need you."

Hope: The Beginner's Certificate

My Course on Faith truly felt like a crash course - a high speed, rigorous review of material that I already had ingrained in me. When Edison got done with his first quarter in school, I felt like God gave me a Beginner's Certificate on Faith, which automatically enrolled me in His Course on Hope. This new course requires a higher standard of confidence in the Lord. As I wrote Edison:

Getting past this first [quarter] with flying colors, gives me the confidence that we can get through the next two years - with God's grace and mercy, of course!

Thank You, Lord! I will continue to hold Your hand as You guide me and my family through every season of our lives.

Promise: My Performance Review

"Mommy, Who is God's PROMISE to us?" Edward asked me one day. I replied rather hesitantly, "Jesus?" His eyes glowed, "Good job!" I couldn't help but smile in pure wonder. My five-year old just quizzed me on the advent wreath! If this is what he's learning in Kindergarten, then all the sacrifice is definitely well worth it!

Well, a couple of weeks ago, I had my annual performance review at work, when a ray of PROMISE shone upon me. First my boss asked me to self-evaluate. I told him, "I can honestly say, sitting on this same chair last year, that I know more now than I did then. Back then, I was working more on the administrative area. So it's been very interesting so far because I've learned a lot about the insurance side of the business."

He then asked me what I enjoyed the most about my job. This was when I took a moment to really, really look within. I was thankful that my thoughts and feelings were even considered at this evaluation! The inner teacher in me was screaming out! So, I told my boss that I loved training our new team members, creating a "curriculum-based" training program, organizing, and meeting with them on a regular basis to talk about work flow... and that I also liked the client contact because I get to know our clients better (they are not just names in our database anymore)!

That said, my boss went on with his evaluation on me. I got "good grades" and I was happy. But what really got me was when he highlighted the fact that I enjoyed "staff education, training, and development" and he encouraged me to take some management courses! I was psyched! He also gave his pitch on why it was important for me to learn the investment side of the business: it was after all, the core of our business... and if I were to train and manage new staff, I better know about it!

So I praised God upon this enlightenment! Up until that moment, I couldn't make sense of why I should be involved in the investment side, when two other team members (that includes my sister) had been handling it all along. So at the end of the evaluation, when my boss and I were setting my 2008 Goals in relation to our team, I didn't hesitate (like I'd always done) when one of the goals was to get cracking with the investment exam that I needed to take.

"We all gotta find our niche in this office," he said. That day, I finally did!

Dear God, I praise and thank You for giving me a ray of promise at my workplace. Thank You for giving me a boss, who is very considerate and supportive of what I am truly passionate about. And thank You for Your even greater Promise: Kuya in my life!

Edison's School: Quarter 1

Kuya: Ang saya! Edison's done with his first quarter at school! I praise and thank You!

Faith 201

"My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter!"

I saw this bumper sticker on my way to pick up Edward from school this afternoon. It reminded me of a quote that I came across with, a couple of weeks ago:

God takes care of our living when we take care of His business.

It has been my theme lately, being that I am on the Lord's Course on Faith. I wrote my good old friend, Anto, who is the one person that made a big difference in my life this year:

You inspired me to launch "Audrey's Mommy Corner," which until recently I didn't realize people were reading because nobody else leaves any comments, but you. I prayed long ago for GOD to use me: "Lord, how can I lead people to You? You know so well how busy my schedule is as a working family woman. I don't think I can go back to our young adult organization - choir practice, sing at masses, volunteer service at church functions, etc... But please use me with what I have..." Then through our email exchanges, you had a thought: "I wish there were a way for THE GIRLS (our High School girlfriends) to post our life lessons/sharing..." And thus, the birth of my blog...

I send the blog announcements to a lot of my mommy friends and girlfriends (and other relatives), but not all would email me with a response or comment. Still I would pray, "Lord, I really enjoy writing, so even though Anto is the only one who seems to be reading my blog, at least I'm touching a soul."

Writing for me is one of those passions that even if I don't get anything in return, I will keep on doing. "I only pray, Lord, that through my blog, my family and friends will know more about You and the beautiful things that You bring into my life. My writing and my blog's main purpose is to bring people to closer to You."

It's been half a year since my "semi-public" blog launched. That's how long it has been since I extended my ministry of evangelization beyond our home. Just last week, I accepted another assignment from my Boss: to serve during one of the Holy Angels School's Family Masses as a LECTOR. I have been informed that I will only get to lector at least once every two months. I don't mind at all because I want to ease into my transition of having two main responsibilities in proclaiming His Word: through my blog and during the Mass.

Lord, I trust that You will take care of my living, as I am taking care of Your business the way that You have directed me to. Thank You for the opportunity to serve You. There is nobody else I'd rather be working for. All this is for Your glory!

A New Riddle

Question: How do you make 6 adults cry?

Answer: By watching Edward's "You Can Have My Room" performance.

(Heeheehee)

Praise God for such a moving performance! It wasn't even longer than 5 minutes, but it sure did touch us in so many levels.

Thank You, Lord:

1. For my parents, who were able to appreciate the song number of their grandson.

2. For my brother, who was able to sneak in and out from a Christmas party because it was just across from the Riordan auditorium.

3. For my sister, who in spite of her super-stressful year-end work, was able to join us in watching the program. (And maybe because of her current situation that she realized what it really meant for "You to have it all!")

4. For Edison, who was racing back and forth from a DJ gig (AAA’s Christmas Party) to Edward’s school musical.

5. For the chance for us to be together and enjoy but a moment’s peace, amidst the Christmas rush…

6. For DVDs of the musical available for sale, so that Edison’s parents and Adrian (who were at AAA's Christmas party) will be able to watch the performance.

Thank You, Lord, for everything!

"You Can Have My Room, Jesus"

Just got home. Alison and I picked Edward up from their rehearsal for tomorrow night's Christmas program. I couldn't help but get a little bit teary when I saw my not-so-little boy onstage - hahaha, iyakin talaga eh no.

I just couldn't believe how fast it all seemed. Five years ago, which seemed like only yesterday, we were just celebrating his first Christmas. And now... he will be performing in his first Christmas musical!

On top of that, their class will be singing "You Can Have My Room, Jesus." So during the rehearsal, I fought back the tears so hard, my throat got all tight...

You can have my room, Jesus
You're always welcome here, Jesus
I won't turn You away
You can have my room, Jesus
You can have it all

Diba, nakaka-iyak? Especially when you hear the Kindergarteners' tiny voices drifting through the entire auditorium. (sniff, sniff)

Thank You, Jesus, for everything that You are in our lives. You can have our hearts... You can have our room... You can have it all!

Christ the King!

Today is the Feast of Christ the King. It marks the end of the Roman Catholic liturgical calendar. During the Mass, I couldn't help but reflect on my relationship with Jesus - how He is my Kuya... and my King at the same time. I remember reading about being a friend and subject to Jesus Christ in Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Life:

"...[T]he word Jesus used when he called us 'friends' could refer to the 'friends of the king' in a royal court. While these close companions had special privileges, they were still subject to the king and had to obey his commands. We are friends with God, but we are not his equals. He is our loving leader, and we follow him."

I like how Jesus and I have an older brother-little sister relationship. In a way, there is really no confusion: little sisters are supposed to do what their older brothers ask them to do. :)

Sinking more deeply into my reflection, I couldn't help but be grateful for having been raised by parents who embraced Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. My father, who was a prominent coach and sports director in our community in the Philippines, always started a pre-game team huddle with a prayer. He was a great role model: He knew that none of his coaching and leadership mattered without the Lord's guidance. My mother, on the other hand, was the strong and steady fortress that we came home to. Another great role model for me: She has always drawn her strength in solitude - a lot of time spent in prayer and reflection.

In a way, being raised with these two opposite, but equally strong personalities has molded me into the person that I've become, and has definitely paved the way to the type of relationship I have with the Lord. On the one hand, I enjoy every peaceful minute of spending quiet time with my Kuya - reading, reflecting, writing, blogging... But there is something exhilirating about leading and organizing people (the way I did when I was a leader in our church youth organization, and the way I am doing now as a parent leader in my children's preschool) - and knowing that every single assignment is fulfilled to glorify the True Leader, my King!

Lord Jesus, You are my Kuya and my King! Thank You for this wonderful relationship that we share. You are my strength, my anchor, and my guiding light.

Thank You, Jesus!

Dear Kuya,

I have a funny feeling that You've got something to do with my fantastic week. :)

I thank You for:

1. Concluding yet another soul-stirring spiritual retreat through re-reading Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Life...

2. My amazing friend, Anto - who has inspired me to blog...

3. Being able to spiritually reconnect with my Highschool girlfriends...

4. Being able to finish the important work project on Wednesday before we left for Scottsdale, AZ for our work seminar...

5. Not being able to worry about Edward and Alison, while I was on my business trip, because I know that they are in good hands with their Grandpa & Mama... then with their Nono & Nona...

6. The superb work seminar that has allowed our team to set our 2008 Goals...

7. And the beautiful weekend that I spent with Edison (along with Belle & Adrian) at the enchanting Sanctuary Camelback Mountain Resort and Spa... (http://www.sanctuaryoncamelback.com/)

I give You all the glory and wonder that this week has been...

Your little sister,

Audrey