Patience 101

"Love is patient..." (1 Corinthians 13:4)

Last Friday, I was blessed by my friend's photoblog. Anto is a natural artist and I admire her work. I've been very busy helping with the planning of my sister's wedding that I haven't really found the time to reflect through my blogs like I used to. This too shall pass, and the wedding will be over in a month, so I will be back blogging again... I would miss the planning and all, but I've always known that it was merely a season in my life that I would fully embrace as it was happening... and then let go, let God take care of the rest on the day itself... and when the day was over, I would have lots of material to blog about.

So except for my monthly public blog, I haven't really had any time for myself and my thoughts. Besides emailing the wedding entourage about the rehearsal dinner that is coming up next month, calling the florist about the flower labels, or coordinating the sleeping room needs of our out-of-town guests... all on top of my day-to-day duties as a wife, a mommy, an employee, a parent officer at Alison's school, a daughter/sister, a friend, etc. etc. - I had absolutely no intention of sitting down and blogging again for myself. I figured I will have all the time in the world after the wedding.

That was until I viewed Anto's photoblog: God of Details.

I was breath-taken by the incredible macro shots... enchanted by the work titles that so truly captured the essence of the shots... haunted by what seemed like a ghost from the past: my blogs, my reflections - they seemed to call out, like a yearning passion from within, I HAD TO WRITE!!!

Writing my comment on her work was my first step: Thank you for sharing, Anto!!! I was truly blessed - reminded by the simple - yet beautiful and DETAILED - pleasures of life, of God's creation.

Next thing I knew, I was blogging this entry... :)

On Saturday, I had a meltdown moment at the tuxedo rental place. I was trying to be efficient with the little time that we had that afternoon, as we had more errands other than to get the guys' (including Edison's and Edward's) tux measurements, when God decided to give me a pop quiz on Patience. I was totally caught off-guard... and I failed the test. :(

I was crushed - even after everyone seemed to have gotten over it... My Teacher is loving and merciful that He has long forgiven me - way before I forgave myself for it, I know that for sure... I wanted to know at that instant: How did I ever let myself get to that point of meltdown? How could I have not reacted differently? What are You teaching me, Lord? I wanna know - NOW!

Lots of logical answers came up: I should not expect others to be like how we run our wedding planning - methodical, systematic, organized... or expect other businesses to be run the same way our boss runs our business - relationship-oriented, professional, accurate, and responsive, with WOW customer service factors!

No answer seemed to calm me down. I knew there was more to it than expectations...

I reviewed Anto's photoblog on Sunday and I came across this beautiful photo...

And that's when the Lord whispered the lesson that He wanted me to learn... And I wrote my friend: I love this photo, Anto! There are so many times in my life when it feels like I'm strangling the heck out of these buds and saying, "C'mon, bloom! Bloom!" Foolish, I know... because deep inside, I know that they will bloom in God's own time - but I strangle the buds anyway... and then I surrender... to the Father... and I thank Him - for HE is patient with me. I have my moments of weakness and impatience... but He waits ever so patiently - time after time - and He makes me realize that I can only bloom when I surrender all to Him... This photo blessed me, Anto! Thank you - and thank God for you! ~ Love, Aud :)

I can only bloom when I surrender all to Him.

ALL... and that includes waiting for half an hour for service at the tuxedo rental place.

Yes - I am guilty as charged: (if Belle is a bride-zilla then) I have been a MOH-zilla! I have been so caught up in trying to make everything perfect MY OWN WAY that I failed to surrender that moment to God.

Despite the factors that led up to the meltdown, I could have handled the situation with a lot more patience - and yes, love... for love is patient. I realize now that it was what it was: a pop quiz, which will not be counted towards my final grade, but it needs to serve as a warning that a big test is coming up and that I should be ready for it. I am officially enrolled in God's Course on Love, and I'm not about to fail Patience 101 - just because I failed a pop quiz.

Dear Lord, help me to love like You: with enduring patience. Whatever the tests are that will come my way, please let me remember the lesson that You have taught me during these past few days: I will only bloom when I surrender all to You.

Belle & Adrian's Wedding Prep: 5 Months!

Consecration of Belle & Adrian's Wedding Preparation to our Lord:

Heavenly Father,
We bring Your presence to the planning of the wedding
Of two of Your most beloved children, Belle and Adrian.

We speak Your peace, Your grace, Your mercy,
And Your perfect order into our planning.
We acknowledge Your power
Over all that will be decided and done during our preparation.

Lord, we thank You for the gifts You have blessed us with.
We commit to using them responsibly in Your honor.
Give us a fresh supply of strength to do our planning.
Anoint every little detail, so that even our smallest accomplishment
May bring You glory.

Lord, guide us, energize us, infuse us with the light of the Holy Spirit.
Thank You for everything You’ve done,
Everything You’re doing, and everything You’re going to do.

In the name of Jesus, we pray
With much love and thanksgiving.
Amen.

(Derived from the “Prayer Before Starting Work”)

Mission to Inspire

This is both a praise report and a prayer request.

In slowly discovering my path, my place, my mission - uniquely designed and assigned to me by my Creator - I give praise and thanks!

At the same time, I pray so as not to let the Lord down when I deliver my mission. May the Lord God strengthen me where I am weak, deliver me from doubt and despair, and always remind me to look within my unshakable core where His love overflows.

Mission to Inspire

To Fight or Not to Fight

Have you ever had one those experiences that once you got out of it, you wished that you had reacted differently?

I have had quite a few of those. But yesterday was a little more unusual than ever, knowing that I am totally on God’s fast track Course on Faith…

I wrote Edward a check, and I went to the bank to deposit it to his savings account. The teller who was helping me asked what was written on my check. I had forgotten that my checks had those witty faith messages. “Lose weight instantly…” she trailed off, squinting her eyes to see if she could see past my writing over the faith message design. I read it for her, “Lose weight instantly. Put all your worries on Him.” And I smiled, expecting that we could share a quick praise report exchange. Instead, she rolled her eyes and said rather sarcastically, “It never works.” My heart sank and all I could muster up behind my disappointment was, “Oh…” – like I would say when I feel sorry and puzzled at the same time... because that’s exactly how I felt towards Ms. Bank Teller.

I felt sorry for her. Sorry that she felt she couldn’t trust the Lord enough to pass on all her burdens to Him.

I was puzzled. Puzzled thinking, “What could this woman have gone through that made her doubt God’s power to lift all her troubles away?”

And then I felt guilty. Should I have defended the Lord right then and there? Why couldn’t have I come up with a more clever remark than “Oh,” and given her instead a sliver of hope - that indeed it DOES work, if you let Him do the work?

Then I remembered my good friend Anto’s blog on choosing your battles… and I didn’t feel as guilty anymore. Fighting for the Lord is a battle worth fighting for – no doubt about that. But close to rush hour, right in the middle of a bank floor with a line forming behind me, didn’t feel like the right venue for it. So I chose instead to fight the battle with a silent prayer for her – that God may enlighten her and that she may be freed from any worries that are weighing her down.

I said a little prayer for myself too: “Kuya, wag tayong mag-aaway nang ganon, ha? I don’t ever want to feel like I cannot go to You for anything and everything – ever!”

Edison's School

Kuya: I trust that You will help our family get through this new season/adventure - Edison going back to school. Our family schedule and budget will be crazy for a little while. But I am holding Your hand and trusting You to get us through this. Thank You for always being with me.