Joy: An Assignment

When we were kids, Care Bears was big. Our cousins and I picked a Care Bear that each of us related to the most. I picked Funshine Bear.

In second grade, I was given one of those end of the school year awards that our homeroom teacher gave out, such as "Smartest" or "Most Thoughtful." I received the "Most Cheerful" award.

My friends would tell me that I had so much spirit, and that my energy was contagious. Some even said that I was a joy to be around.

But by far, the greatest compliments that I ever received in this "Most Cheerful Category" were: 1) when Edison told me that I make him happy; and 2) when Edward prayed one night, "Thank You, Jesus, for my Mommy who makes me feel special."

However, it wasn't until a couple of weeks ago when it actually hit me. Right in the middle of our team’s holiday lunch, our boss commanded attention when he read his traditional year-end poem. There were only a couple of verses for each team member, but I remember him saying that I was very responsible in organizing our office, and that whatever else that I was doing at work, I always had a smile on my face. I had to actually pause and reflect: Does my smile really have an effect on people? Could I actually be a fountain of joy? Could this be another gift from God that I can use to serve Him?

I used to think that the best way to serve the Lord is to dedicate my life to teaching. So when life led me to the business world, I didn't know how to reconcile it with my childhood dream of becoming a teacher. I wrote Anto:

I used to be set in my ways. I had to be a teacher, period. I could never imagine myself working in the business world because I was very intimidated by the whole thing. I used to think that the only boss I could ever have in the business world is someone like Donald Trump - very scary!

What best way is there to serve the Lord than by teaching? I've always had a great admiration for teachers, so I’ve always wanted to be one. God bless the person who wrote the testimonial on me on our Highschool yearbook: “With an iron fist and a warm heart, Audrey is sure to be one of the counrty’s finest teachers.” I don’t remember the exact words that were written, but those words remained in me. I wanted to prove myself to everyone that I could fulfill my destiny of actually becoming one of our country’s greatest educators.

I reflected on that a few weeks back: I left the country AND I never pursued teaching, so I probably will never become one of the Philippines ’ finest teachers… I must admit that I was a bit sad. But maybe the Holy Spirit descended upon me that day because a quote just landed in my hands: “Little is much if GOD is in it.”

Then I thought, compared to my own BIG “Serve-the-Lord-by-teaching-and-be-great-at-it” standards, working in the business world may be “little,” but GOD is definitely in it! You know how it all started (you’ve probably read my blog about it)… and everyday, I offer everything that I do to the Lord. So I know that this career path may not be a part of my original plan, but He sees my heart and He knows that all I ever want to accomplish is to serve Him.

So wherever He wants to take me, I’ll just follow Him. I still haven’t given up on teaching all together. There is still that passion in me. But I will pursue it when He leads me there, in His time...

So I am really thankful for my boss' year-end poem. It somehow validated that I am indeed serving the Lord by bringing cheer to my workplace. This is my own way of heeding to Anto's encouragement to try to “be a Jesus to somebody” everyday.

What a great honor, my Lord, to be of service to You – by bringing cheer and sunshine to people's lives; by being a fountain of joy to my loved-ones and everyone else around me.

The greatest of these is LOVE

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13: 7-8)


Through all the seasons in my life, especially the latest rigorous course that I went through, there has always been a constant force behind everything: LOVE. I have been truly blessed by the Lord to experience His love and glory through my wonderful family and amazing friends.

Most especially though, I thank God for my husband, my children, my family of orientation, my husband's family, and His girls (my sisters in Christ): all of whom have been praying with me, to get me through life's new challenges. I dedicate this song to them. This one's for You too, Kuya!

"There's a freedom in your arms that carries me through. I need you."

Hope: The Beginner's Certificate

My Course on Faith truly felt like a crash course - a high speed, rigorous review of material that I already had ingrained in me. When Edison got done with his first quarter in school, I felt like God gave me a Beginner's Certificate on Faith, which automatically enrolled me in His Course on Hope. This new course requires a higher standard of confidence in the Lord. As I wrote Edison:

Getting past this first [quarter] with flying colors, gives me the confidence that we can get through the next two years - with God's grace and mercy, of course!

Thank You, Lord! I will continue to hold Your hand as You guide me and my family through every season of our lives.

Promise: My Performance Review

"Mommy, Who is God's PROMISE to us?" Edward asked me one day. I replied rather hesitantly, "Jesus?" His eyes glowed, "Good job!" I couldn't help but smile in pure wonder. My five-year old just quizzed me on the advent wreath! If this is what he's learning in Kindergarten, then all the sacrifice is definitely well worth it!

Well, a couple of weeks ago, I had my annual performance review at work, when a ray of PROMISE shone upon me. First my boss asked me to self-evaluate. I told him, "I can honestly say, sitting on this same chair last year, that I know more now than I did then. Back then, I was working more on the administrative area. So it's been very interesting so far because I've learned a lot about the insurance side of the business."

He then asked me what I enjoyed the most about my job. This was when I took a moment to really, really look within. I was thankful that my thoughts and feelings were even considered at this evaluation! The inner teacher in me was screaming out! So, I told my boss that I loved training our new team members, creating a "curriculum-based" training program, organizing, and meeting with them on a regular basis to talk about work flow... and that I also liked the client contact because I get to know our clients better (they are not just names in our database anymore)!

That said, my boss went on with his evaluation on me. I got "good grades" and I was happy. But what really got me was when he highlighted the fact that I enjoyed "staff education, training, and development" and he encouraged me to take some management courses! I was psyched! He also gave his pitch on why it was important for me to learn the investment side of the business: it was after all, the core of our business... and if I were to train and manage new staff, I better know about it!

So I praised God upon this enlightenment! Up until that moment, I couldn't make sense of why I should be involved in the investment side, when two other team members (that includes my sister) had been handling it all along. So at the end of the evaluation, when my boss and I were setting my 2008 Goals in relation to our team, I didn't hesitate (like I'd always done) when one of the goals was to get cracking with the investment exam that I needed to take.

"We all gotta find our niche in this office," he said. That day, I finally did!

Dear God, I praise and thank You for giving me a ray of promise at my workplace. Thank You for giving me a boss, who is very considerate and supportive of what I am truly passionate about. And thank You for Your even greater Promise: Kuya in my life!

Faith 301: The Advent Wreath

Early this month, Edward came home with an advent wreath - his very own art project; each Kindergartener created one that particular week. I was surprised when he told me that there were names for each candle: Promise, Hope, Love, and Joy. I was either absent from school on the day that our Religion teacher taught us that, or the epidural just wiped that information out of my brain. :) So I was seriously delighted when my boy told me about the four candles! He also told me that the wreath is a circle because "God's love has no beginning and no end." (Aww)

Yesterday, the last candle of advent was lit - Christmas is finally upon us. In a few minutes, I am going to begin cooking and baking for tonight's Noche Buena. But for just this one moment of peace, I would like to say a heart-felt prayer of praise and thanksgiving:

I praise and thank You, dear God, for Your love that has no beginning and no end; for sending us Your Son - the ultimate sacrifice; and for showering me and my family with lots of blessings everyday. Happy Birthday, Kuya! My gift is to love You and serve You all the days of my life.

Faith 201

"My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter!"

I saw this bumper sticker on my way to pick up Edward from school this afternoon. It reminded me of a quote that I came across with, a couple of weeks ago:

God takes care of our living when we take care of His business.

It has been my theme lately, being that I am on the Lord's Course on Faith. I wrote my good old friend, Anto, who is the one person that made a big difference in my life this year:

You inspired me to launch "Audrey's Mommy Corner," which until recently I didn't realize people were reading because nobody else leaves any comments, but you. I prayed long ago for GOD to use me: "Lord, how can I lead people to You? You know so well how busy my schedule is as a working family woman. I don't think I can go back to our young adult organization - choir practice, sing at masses, volunteer service at church functions, etc... But please use me with what I have..." Then through our email exchanges, you had a thought: "I wish there were a way for THE GIRLS (our High School girlfriends) to post our life lessons/sharing..." And thus, the birth of my blog...

I send the blog announcements to a lot of my mommy friends and girlfriends (and other relatives), but not all would email me with a response or comment. Still I would pray, "Lord, I really enjoy writing, so even though Anto is the only one who seems to be reading my blog, at least I'm touching a soul."

Writing for me is one of those passions that even if I don't get anything in return, I will keep on doing. "I only pray, Lord, that through my blog, my family and friends will know more about You and the beautiful things that You bring into my life. My writing and my blog's main purpose is to bring people to closer to You."

It's been half a year since my "semi-public" blog launched. That's how long it has been since I extended my ministry of evangelization beyond our home. Just last week, I accepted another assignment from my Boss: to serve during one of the Holy Angels School's Family Masses as a LECTOR. I have been informed that I will only get to lector at least once every two months. I don't mind at all because I want to ease into my transition of having two main responsibilities in proclaiming His Word: through my blog and during the Mass.

Lord, I trust that You will take care of my living, as I am taking care of Your business the way that You have directed me to. Thank You for the opportunity to serve You. There is nobody else I'd rather be working for. All this is for Your glory!

To Fight or Not to Fight

Have you ever had one those experiences that once you got out of it, you wished that you had reacted differently?

I have had quite a few of those. But yesterday was a little more unusual than ever, knowing that I am totally on God’s fast track Course on Faith…

I wrote Edward a check, and I went to the bank to deposit it to his savings account. The teller who was helping me asked what was written on my check. I had forgotten that my checks had those witty faith messages. “Lose weight instantly…” she trailed off, squinting her eyes to see if she could see past my writing over the faith message design. I read it for her, “Lose weight instantly. Put all your worries on Him.” And I smiled, expecting that we could share a quick praise report exchange. Instead, she rolled her eyes and said rather sarcastically, “It never works.” My heart sank and all I could muster up behind my disappointment was, “Oh…” – like I would say when I feel sorry and puzzled at the same time... because that’s exactly how I felt towards Ms. Bank Teller.

I felt sorry for her. Sorry that she felt she couldn’t trust the Lord enough to pass on all her burdens to Him.

I was puzzled. Puzzled thinking, “What could this woman have gone through that made her doubt God’s power to lift all her troubles away?”

And then I felt guilty. Should I have defended the Lord right then and there? Why couldn’t have I come up with a more clever remark than “Oh,” and given her instead a sliver of hope - that indeed it DOES work, if you let Him do the work?

Then I remembered my good friend Anto’s blog on choosing your battles… and I didn’t feel as guilty anymore. Fighting for the Lord is a battle worth fighting for – no doubt about that. But close to rush hour, right in the middle of a bank floor with a line forming behind me, didn’t feel like the right venue for it. So I chose instead to fight the battle with a silent prayer for her – that God may enlighten her and that she may be freed from any worries that are weighing her down.

I said a little prayer for myself too: “Kuya, wag tayong mag-aaway nang ganon, ha? I don’t ever want to feel like I cannot go to You for anything and everything – ever!”

Faith 101

As if on cue, after acknowledging the Lord's plan to enroll me on a Course on Faith, I came across this quote:

FAITH
Sees the invisible
Believes the incredible
Receives the impossible

Tiny Lightbulb

Yesterday was Week 2-Day 2 of Edison’s “Back-to-School Adventure.” Already though, we could feel the harsh reality of sleep deprivation and super-tight budget. It was a lot easier to trust that “GOD will provide” when the God-given cash reserve remained untouched. However, with a Kindergartener and a Business School Student in the family, I couldn’t help but pray harder, “Lord, wag mo kaming pababayaan – seryoso!”

Ordinary day, usual morning routine: I was helping the kids get dressed for school. Alison, on the verge of a temper tantrum, blurted out for the third time, “Mommy, I’m hungry. I want to eat breakfast.” And for the third time I tried to explain, “Alison, I told you, you have to get dressed first and then we can have breakfast.” And before she could object again, I added, with a little tone of irritation in my voice:

“Do you think I will let you go hungry?”

Chills… A tiny lightbulb went off in my head: “Oh my gosh! That’s what GOD is telling me at this exact moment!”

Parang binatukan ako ni Kuya, “Ang kulit mo! Sinabing hindi kita pababayaan, eh.”

I felt tinier than Alison. I couldn’t believe that even after all this time I could still be scolded by the Lord, “O you of little faith!”

So this is going to be an interesting season in our family life - all of us as students:

In Pre-K, Alison is practicing writing her name.

In Kindergarten, Edward is perfecting the art of staying inside the lines as he colors.

Edison is enrolled in two business courses.

And I…

I am enrolled in an Advanced Placement/High Honors Course on Faith. (wink wink, Anto)