To Fight or Not to Fight

Have you ever had one those experiences that once you got out of it, you wished that you had reacted differently?

I have had quite a few of those. But yesterday was a little more unusual than ever, knowing that I am totally on God’s fast track Course on Faith…

I wrote Edward a check, and I went to the bank to deposit it to his savings account. The teller who was helping me asked what was written on my check. I had forgotten that my checks had those witty faith messages. “Lose weight instantly…” she trailed off, squinting her eyes to see if she could see past my writing over the faith message design. I read it for her, “Lose weight instantly. Put all your worries on Him.” And I smiled, expecting that we could share a quick praise report exchange. Instead, she rolled her eyes and said rather sarcastically, “It never works.” My heart sank and all I could muster up behind my disappointment was, “Oh…” – like I would say when I feel sorry and puzzled at the same time... because that’s exactly how I felt towards Ms. Bank Teller.

I felt sorry for her. Sorry that she felt she couldn’t trust the Lord enough to pass on all her burdens to Him.

I was puzzled. Puzzled thinking, “What could this woman have gone through that made her doubt God’s power to lift all her troubles away?”

And then I felt guilty. Should I have defended the Lord right then and there? Why couldn’t have I come up with a more clever remark than “Oh,” and given her instead a sliver of hope - that indeed it DOES work, if you let Him do the work?

Then I remembered my good friend Anto’s blog on choosing your battles… and I didn’t feel as guilty anymore. Fighting for the Lord is a battle worth fighting for – no doubt about that. But close to rush hour, right in the middle of a bank floor with a line forming behind me, didn’t feel like the right venue for it. So I chose instead to fight the battle with a silent prayer for her – that God may enlighten her and that she may be freed from any worries that are weighing her down.

I said a little prayer for myself too: “Kuya, wag tayong mag-aaway nang ganon, ha? I don’t ever want to feel like I cannot go to You for anything and everything – ever!”